So, since I'm sitting here not sleeping (regular occurrence lately), thought I'd jot down a few of my recent ups and downs. It's been an interesting holiday - quite a roller coaster (both literally - at Disneyland - and figuratively w/my emotions). Crazy stuff.
So, I had so much fun in Disneyland! Really, I did, but it also made me think a lot about how much fun my husband would have had there with me. And being around several couples didn't help that. Not that it makes me angry - I love all my great friends I was with, but it did raise my awareness of my current social status. I struggled a bit at nights, but still had a fabulous time all in all. Then I got home...
Being at home alone after being with so many people for a week, it really struck hard. I had a harder time than I've had in a long while. Almost in a full panic one night....not so fun. And it didn't help that I was coming up on the holidays. I have kind of a love-hate relationship with this time of year. Lots of milestones, lots of joy, lots of tears.
Christmas ended up going well, though. After a lot of love, support, and help from friends and family, I was feeling much better. I got to spend some quality time with my in-laws, which was so nice. It really helped to be able to discuss things with them, and my nieces and nephews are so great, I can't help but cheer up around them. We had a great Christmas!
Today I celebrated (sort of) what would have been my 5th wedding anniversary. I worked most of the day, then my siblings took me out for dinner. So nice of them! We had a great time as we ate and talked, and then we played games at my sister's place. All in all, a pretty good day, considering. It's getting tougher as I prepare for bed - alone again. But I think I'll be alright. There are good, if painful, memories I have of this time. And, as a good friend has reminded me recently, it's important to remember the important and eternal things that this day really does symbolize. Alone or not, this day signifies good things, past and future.
Now I get to prepare for New Year's, also a tough time, as it would have been Gentry's 31st birthday on Jan 1st. I'll be thinking of him (which I do every day, but probably more at these times). I'll also be taking care to surround myself with people who help me feel happy. I'm very lucky to have good friends and family all around me. Couldn't get through life without them!!
Here are just a few pictures from my recent (first) trip to Disneyland!
Just in time for winter to start making an appearance, I am getting around to posting some of my summer pictures. I'll start with the ones from our camping trip up to Idaho, since I know Jenny has been waiting for me to put up these great pictures.
Marshmallow stuffing contest
Fun eating squeezy cheese
At an old pioneer museum
So, I probably won't take too long right now, but I had to share a little about my excitement. I am typing this little post on my new laptop!! It's a MacBook, and I got an amazing deal on it. If you recall from past posts, I was pretty much ready to throw my old Dell laptop out the window - so frustrating!! So, when I heard about this deal, I decided it was happy birthday to me. So far, I am really liking it. I am hoping that with this I can finally post some of my summer fun pictures here. Yay!
Well, I guess I am officially a year older. I appreciated all the birthday wishes yesterday. Totally made my day! I had lots of little notes, phone calls, and wishes of happy birthday.
Nothing too exciting went on - I worked an extra long day at work (covering for another teacher), went to dinner with my friend, then went to class until 9:45pm. Long day. :) We were going to go to Border's after class, but didn't realize they closed at 10:00. We went to Smith's instead to get a couple of things, then went home to sleep, or so I hoped. I actually did really well through the day, but when I got home, I fell apart a bit. Just missing my special someone - I'm coming in to my harder time of year, but I am hoping it will be a little easier this year, as it has been each year so far. I'll be coming up on the three year mark this Oct. 20th, so we'll see how that goes, too. Definitely not a fun time, but I'll just hope for the best.
I just have to say that, so far, it's been a great weekend! I went to my meeting this morning, then relaxed while I watched conference. And I finally got my internet working at home!!! We'll see how long it lasts this time. My computer is still painfully slow, but I am definitely happy to be able to get online. It's a big help with my school work. This afternoon, I went to CPR re-certification, which lasted a couple of hours. I'm ready if any of you want to pass out while I'm around, though. lol - but seriously, please don't. :)
After that training, I met up with Alicia and her dad, and we went over to the hot springs with my family. Our dad's went over to the preisthood session of conference, and we went soaking in the wonderful warm water. Ah...so nice, especially when it started raining! When the guys got back, the three of us went out to my FAVORITE Mexican restaurant, and I had one of my favorite dishes - enchiladas de mole. Delicious!
All in all, a great day. Very relaxing, and heard some great talks. I could do with more of these...