So, I was a bit bored and had some free time (or at least some time I chose to use, whether or not I should've been doing something else). I decided to jot down some thoughts on a few of the simple things that keep me going on a daily basis....or keep me from going, depending on my mood. :)
CHOCOLATE
Oh sweet chocolate
Your creamy decadence melting blissfully in my mouth
Seems to also melt away my cares and worries
Leaving me
With nothing but happiness
Unfortunately
That happiness is only as long-lasting
As the sweetness contained in your luscious taste
With a final swallow
The sweetness is finished
And the worries return
Time for another piece...
DIET SODA
In whatever form is on hand
Be it Pepsi, Mt. Dew, Dr. Pepper, or even Coke
So long as that magical "DIET" precedes the title
Even the lesser-known sources suffice
This sustaining nectar
In one long draught
Washes away stresses of the day
Gives an added boost
And an exciting tingle on the way down
Those calorie-free bubbles
Popping and fizzling
Sooth the soul and excite the senses
And give me strength
At least enough to take the next drink...
MY MACBOOK, MY FRIEND
Oh wondrous technology
Keeping me company at the oddest hours
Offering endless amounts
Of mind-soothing browsing
Blogging
Email and games
Always there for me
Even going so far
As to sleep by my side each night
Never hogging the blankets
Or snoring too loudly
So seldom a problem
So long as thy companion
internet access
Is in working order
Thy possibilities are endless
And yet at my command...
So....
I'm planning on finishing up my masters degree this summer, with any luck (Yay!), and I've had a lot of people asking me what I plan on doing next. The problem, though, is that I don't have one. A plan, that is. I kinda just fly by the seat of my pants these days.
I do have a few options. I can stay working here at the preschool. It's a solid job, but doesn't pay what I could be making elswhere. It does, however, allow me insurance benefits, which is a nice change after 5 years without them. They also would really like me to stay. In addition, I am being encouraged to apply for a position with the FCHD department that might be opening up soon. Don't have all the details on that, yet, but I know it wouldn't be full-time. Possibly I could do it in addition to the job I have now, but still not sure on that. I could also choose to apply to teach in the public elementary schools again, which leaves me with a HUGE range of options. Since I am on my own, I could move anywhere I wanted, within reason, of course. Even abroad, if I wanted to or found a position.
So, basically, I have way too many options. In a movie I saw long ago, I heard a lady compare her love life to a video store. She said something to the effect of, "I choose to rent my movies at 7-11. If I go to Blockbuster, there are just way too many choices. I need a 7-11 love life...I can't handle Blockbuster." This applies to my range of choices now. Too many choices, and I'm just too darn indecisive. One of those qualities I just about have down to a science.
For now, I'm just pondering, thinking about what feels right, etc. I'm weighing my options, but I don't have a very reliable scale, lol! Now that I've written it all down, maybe the words will rearrange themselves into a solid answer. Likely not, but it can't hurt.
I'm just sitting here, late at night as usual, and pondering how things are going. As the title of this post shows, things are pretty good, alright! I have just finished the last of my pending homework, for the time being, and I had a decent night prior to doing so. Went to class, planned out my upcoming presentation, and had some fun. A friend and I went to grab some dinner, then spent some quality time at the bookstore. I am reading a book there (which I do not plan to currently buy, but might when it comes out in paperback), so we occasionally go and just sit in the quiet atmosphere to relax. Not a bad, cheap, activity. :)
Now I am free to turn on my most recent Netflix selection and crochet for a bit until I fall asleep. I am working on a project, but can't include details here in case the recipient(s) decide to take a look. ;) It's an enjoyable endeavor, though.
So, nothing too exciting, but nothing too down and depressing, either. Can't complain, and I might even be able to boast....just a little, but that's enough for me. This is the way I would love to feel at the end of everyday. I might not have conquered the world, but I accomplished what needed to be done, and I can go to bed without unduly stressing over tomorrow. Good for me! :D
Now that the traditional "season" has passed, here are what I consider to be some of the things traditionally following that time of year....perhaps it can be said "'Tis the post-season":
1. The official disaster zone left behind by Santa and his Reindeer
2. The sniffles, sneezes, and other ailment that follow a return to the germ-ridden place we often call "school"
3. The undeniable urge to quickly dispose of all holiday goodies, generally by means of consumption in the late-night hours while trying to regain a normal sleeping schedule
4. The circles growing deeper and darker under the eyes as a result of the above mentioned abnormal sleep schedule
5. The sudden realization that the beautiful white snow of December magically turns into a menace during the cold icy mornings of January...particularly as you are madly trying to scrape off your car in an effort to make it to work in two minutes
6. The inability to find anything in the house (mainly due to the events mentioned in number 1)
7. Daily "resolutions" to improve the state mentioned in all above items - resolutions that become daily due to their inevitable state of being unfulfilled at the end of yet another day
So, these pretty much all apply to me these days. My house, if it can be called such at this point, is in such a state that I am primarily grateful for a door with a lock and windows with blinds that help to conceal the piles of holiday cheer strewn throughout the place. (And just for the record, it's loads easier to lock a door ad lower the blinds than it is to pick up those cheery piles).
Secondly, I have been taking this blessedly long weekend (Human Rights Day - Sometimes I wonder if it isn't really a day for us to have a Human Right to one extra day along the route to post-holiday recovery) to deal with the unpleasantness of a cold that came my way. I'm sure it was inevitable, considering the innumerable germs that abide in my place of work and education. Still, I did all I could to prevent it: multi-vitamins, hand-washing, airborne, etc. All was in vain, though...I did manage to eek out my work responsibilities through Friday afternoon, whereupon I retreated to my bed (the one semi-sane place in my house) and did not leave for a significant chunk of time. Ah, the joys of sleep - see number 4 for the unpleasant, but also unavoidable side effects.
Holiday goodies - enough said in number 3.
Sleep - ah sleep. Just as I was beginning to have a normal sleep routine again, I got sick, slept for HOURS, and subsequently was awake until 4am Sunday morning. Three and a half hours later, I was up and at 'em, finishing preparations for the Relief Society lesson I was teaching. We'll see if tonight fares any more normally...
And the snow - There's been this January thaw going on, but only enough to melt the snow sufficiently during the day to form a nice thick layer of ice the next morning. The ice is particularly located on my windshield, making my morning trip to work a lot more complicated. I've started going out and turning the car on about 10 minutes before I have to leave, but even then I end up scraping off the layers. Honestly, if it's going to be this cold, I'd rather the pretty white snow, thank you very much. :)
Yeah, can't really find anything in my house these days. Keep meaning to clean it (see number 7), but between school, work, and this cold I've been recovering from (and a good deal of procrastination), it hasn't happened. That's really all I can say about it at this point, too.
So, I'm working on those "resolutions". In truth, I'm making great strides in the traditional resolutions. I'm up to 30 lbs that I've lost since August. Go me!! :) And I'll hopefully be finishing off my degree this summer, if things work out well, so I'm definitely making progress there, too. Now, if I can just address these "seasonal" issues, I should be on my way to a great new year. Hope you are all having one of your own!
So, since I'm sitting here not sleeping (regular occurrence lately), thought I'd jot down a few of my recent ups and downs. It's been an interesting holiday - quite a roller coaster (both literally - at Disneyland - and figuratively w/my emotions). Crazy stuff.
So, I had so much fun in Disneyland! Really, I did, but it also made me think a lot about how much fun my husband would have had there with me. And being around several couples didn't help that. Not that it makes me angry - I love all my great friends I was with, but it did raise my awareness of my current social status. I struggled a bit at nights, but still had a fabulous time all in all. Then I got home...
Being at home alone after being with so many people for a week, it really struck hard. I had a harder time than I've had in a long while. Almost in a full panic one night....not so fun. And it didn't help that I was coming up on the holidays. I have kind of a love-hate relationship with this time of year. Lots of milestones, lots of joy, lots of tears.
Christmas ended up going well, though. After a lot of love, support, and help from friends and family, I was feeling much better. I got to spend some quality time with my in-laws, which was so nice. It really helped to be able to discuss things with them, and my nieces and nephews are so great, I can't help but cheer up around them. We had a great Christmas!
Today I celebrated (sort of) what would have been my 5th wedding anniversary. I worked most of the day, then my siblings took me out for dinner. So nice of them! We had a great time as we ate and talked, and then we played games at my sister's place. All in all, a pretty good day, considering. It's getting tougher as I prepare for bed - alone again. But I think I'll be alright. There are good, if painful, memories I have of this time. And, as a good friend has reminded me recently, it's important to remember the important and eternal things that this day really does symbolize. Alone or not, this day signifies good things, past and future.
Now I get to prepare for New Year's, also a tough time, as it would have been Gentry's 31st birthday on Jan 1st. I'll be thinking of him (which I do every day, but probably more at these times). I'll also be taking care to surround myself with people who help me feel happy. I'm very lucky to have good friends and family all around me. Couldn't get through life without them!!
Here are just a few pictures from my recent (first) trip to Disneyland!
